6th Commandment

This time I actually managed to keep with the holy scripture. As Mount Cody blocked the Tennessee field goal at the end of the game to keep Alabama undefeated and send the Hillbillies back to Knoxville with their tails between their legs our living room was a jumbled mess of images and sounds.

Tim spiked his hat, which damn near bounced off the ground and back up to the ceiling. The cat dipped out of the room with the quickness. The dogs began dancing around with all of the commotion that that had broken out. I, well, I was damn near comatose sitting on the couch, not fully believing the incredible feat that had just occurred.

Less than a minute later, my brother handed me a drink and after a quick toast we downed them. He put some brats on the grill and warmed back up the sausage cheese dip while I made myself another drink.

After a couple cigarettes by me, a victory cigar by my brother and a number of further drinks by both we sat down with a couple of brats to rewatch the finale of the game. We watched the sucessful onside kick by the Vols followed by the great pass by Crompton to setup the field goal attempt.

However, then came the the moment when physics were broken. Tennessee snapped the ball, the hold was good, but then science failed us as The Mountain moved. Not only did it move, it volleyball spiked the kick back in the direction that it came from.

Many high fives later and a bit of rewinding later, we were able to join in a spirited rendition of "Yea Alabama." After this came the undeniable finale of our viewing... "Rammer Jammer." As the horns heated up so did we.

In our most heated recital of the season, we made those filthy Hillbillies hear us all the way from Milwaukee as we screamed, "HEY VOLS, HEY VOLS, HEY VOLS, WE JUST BEAT THA' HELL OUTTA YOU. RAMMA' JAMMA' YELLA' HAMMA', GIVE 'EM HELL ALABAMA!!!!"

Thus fulfillith the sixth Commandment. As later interpreted by numerous Crimson Tide theology scholars, "After Alabama defeateth those nasty Hillibillies from the north, thou shalt at the earliest possible moment, but no longer than one score hours and four after victory rejoice in the hymnal that is Rammer Jammer or thou shalt goest to the deepest, darkest of hells."